A Healthy Switch

“Have a new teenager next week with this parenting trick.” Ever heard that? I don’t buy it. Children and teenagers don’t often make U-turns from a simple parenting tip. But today, my suggestion will – over the long term – change for the better how your teen feels, sleeps, loves, studies, dates, and learns. Here’s my suggestion: switch off your internet at 10pm.[1] Why, you ask? It guards against loss of Zzzs and making bad decisions. Can I explain a little more?

Night is designed by God for us to sleep and rest. Sleep isn't a pesky task that gets in the way of living life; it is essential to our vitality. Dr. Walker, a sleep researcher at UC Berkeley, says consistent lack of sleep wrecks your immune system, disrupts blood sugar levels, stresses your heart, and contributes to all major psychiatric conditions, including depression, anxiety, and suicidality.[2] Lost sleep is a HUGE problem for Americans and especially American youth today. Much of it is lost by teens to hours of social media, video streaming, or game playing into the night. A recent poll shows 70% of parents believe their child gets enough sleep, when in reality less than 25% of children, 11 to 18, actually obtain the necessary 8-10 hours.[3] It wouldn't hurt to take inventory - for the sake of your kids mental, physical, and spiritual health! 

Another concern about sleep-loss is what goes on instead of sleeping: late night relationships and patterns teens form can also be problematic. Since the mind is fatigued at night, Dr. Walker found that people consistently demonstrate less self-control.[4] We all know this from unplanned late-night snacks and just-one-more-episode late nights! Unsurprisingly, most of a youth’s online regrets will be during the night. Unhealthy dating patterns are formed in private messages. Pornographic habits that plague multitudes of youth start and become habits in the quiet privacy of many Christian homes. I know these tendencies are true because of statistics, my own young life, and years of talking with concerned parents.

Yes, I know that your teen will hate this switch, but it won’t stay that way. I’m confident we can help teens find other activities in the evening. For a teen stuck to a screen this may seem like the end of the world, but they CAN find other things they enjoy; your teen is not an old dog. You will probably have to help them change their routine by replacing it with something else they enjoy (or help them discover that they enjoy). There is also wisdom in incremental change, but I’m confident the change will bless your family. For ideas, try this list of 100 Things to do without screens.

There is one more BIG reason I suggest this switch: The rationale is from Jesus’ teaching. A booming voice did not speak from heaven: “tell them to switch off the internet at night!”, but God’s word led me to this application - even for myself as an adult. It tells us that we should take unusual action to guard and separate ourselves from sinful practices. He used hyperbole to say this in Matthew 18:8-9:

“And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.”

Part of following Jesus is taking radical, unusual, and uncommon action so that we are not living lives inconsistent with his will for our life. This includes separating ourselves from temptation when we are predictably weak. Many of you already do this with your teen: You don’t typically let them run around town at night alone or with friends. It’s not commanded explicitly, but it sure is wise. I think switching your family’s internet off before the late hours of the night is an application of wisdom that humbly acknowledges our need for rest and the effects of fatigue on teen decision-making abilities.

How to do it:

Perhaps you like the idea, but you adults need the internet after 10pm or maybe your kids have phones with data, so unplugging the router won’t do the trick. Here’s how you can make it work: Apple products have great parental controls that include time limits and Android has apps that create parental controls on time and app use.  If it comes down to it, you can use a smart router that cuts off devices at certain times. Here’s a great place to start on that journey. I’m confident this will bless your students and families!

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[1] 10PM isn’t a magical time, but I think it is on the threshold of early and late night. Use wisdom about when is best for your household. The younger your child, the earlier it should be in my thinking.

[2] Matthew Walker, Why We Sleep, 1st edition (New York: Scribner, 2017), 3.

[3] Walker, chap. 15; “CDC - How Much Sleep Do I Need? - Sleep and Sleep Disorders,” March 5, 2019, https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/how_much_sleep.html. 8-10 hours of sleep is recommended by the CDC for ages 12-18, while Dr. Walker’s findings about parents misperceptions were for ages 11-18.

[4] Walker, Why We Sleep, chap. 7. As an example of how severe this can become, consider this: “After 19 hours of being awake, people were cognitively impaired as those who are legally drunk.”

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[1] Matthew Walker, Why We Sleep, 1st edition (New York: Scribner, 2017), 3.

[2] Walker, chap. 15; “CDC - How Much Sleep Do I Need? - Sleep and Sleep Disorders,” March 5, 2019, https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/how_much_sleep.html. 8-10 hours of sleep is recommended by the CDC for ages 12-18, while Dr. Walker’s findings about parents misperceptions were for ages 11-18.

[3] Walker, Why We Sleep, chap. 7. As an example of how severe this can become, consider this: “After 19 hours of being awake, people were cognitively impaired as those who are legally drunk.”